Before and After
I originally published this meme on my Facebook page on January 22, 2019.
Newer dance moms, beware…
Back when I was a new dance mom myself, I had no idea what to expect for dance conventions and competitions. I knew they were scheduled the entire weekend, but that was about it. As more emails from the studio with reminders, instructions, and information about the upcoming event began to fill my inbox, my nerves started to get the best of me. There was so much to do, so much to remember, and so little time to get ready for it all. Plus, not knowing exactly what my role would be or what little emergencies might pop up was wearing on me (before the weekend even started).
In the Beginning…
During the first couple of years, it honestly wasn’t so bad. The girls were in the “baby” room for conventions, where the pressure wasn’t nearly as intense as it became as they got older. We even had time to swim in the hotel pool and go out for a real meal! Those baby classes only last two of the three days of the event, typically, so we only needed to spend one night in a hotel. While the older dancers and their families prepared for another long, grueling day, we were packing our bags, wishing them well, and heading home.
For competitions, they were one-and-done when they were Petites; while we generally were there for the entire duration of the weekend to support our studios’ older teams, we had no strict schedule to follow. I didn’t have to do any fancy hairstyles, apply makeup, or execute quick changes with lightning speed. Life was good.
Moving On Up
As expected, these convention/competition weekends became a lot more labor intensive as the girls moved up into the Mini rooms at convention, and acquired multiple dances for competitions. Packing for longer hotel stays, making arrangements for my other child and dog while we were away, creating and obsessing over checklists to make sure no costume was left behind, physically hoofing it around unknown locations in search of lunch, running to a pharmacy when one twin fell ill, and countless other panic-inducing scenarios became the order of the day. And boy, did it take a toll on me. By the time the weekend was over, I looked like something the cat hocked up.
The Aftermath
I’ll never forget an exchange I had with a beloved colleague one such Monday morning, after an NYCDA convention in Philadelphia (we arrived home at about 8:30 the night before). She took one look at my sunken eyes and said, “God, what HAPPENED to you this weekend?!”
I gave her a quick rundown of the past few days, which had actually gone pretty smoothly (all things considered). When I was finished with my recap, she raised her eyebrows skeptically and remarked, “Yeah, so basically, you had no weekend – just more work.”
I sighed, “Well, yeah…”
She chuckled, “You know I think you’re nuts, right?” Resignedly, I nodded my head. I knew that the chaos I signed up for would make no sense to anyone outside the competitive dance world, so I expected her reaction to be somewhere along those lines.” She paused, looked right into my soul, and said, “You’re a good mom. But when you get home, take a nap.”
I wanted to cry (probably because I was on the verge of a physical breakdown); my rational brain knew that I didn’t need to go to such lengths to be a “good mom.” But I’ll do practically anything for my kids, and that’s what I hope they’ll remember when they are grown and gone.
I never did take that nap that day. I couldn’t; my kids had dance.
Work hard, have fun! – Danielle
26 Comments
Jane
Great tips Danielle, this is very helpful for new dance moms.
Cecile Leger
The picture made me smile from ear to ear. I love the way you write your posts. I don’t have any dancer in my family cland but I enjoy reading your posts.
Danielle
Thanks so much!
Tiffany
I am amazed at what my friends who are dance moms go through…its nonstop
Alice
Wow, I never really thought about what a dance mom goes through. Both of my kids were in sports but their games or tournaments were rarely a two day event. Nor did we have to worry about costumes or hair styles. I do enjoy reading your posts.
Elaina
Kudos to you for all you do for your kids! It definitely is tiring but rewarding. Great tips for new parents coming into the dance world.
Alexis Farmer
I don’t have any kids and never competed in dance. But I always find your posts really interesting, and this one is no different!
Amber
Dance moms are definitely a different breed. I would love to get my little girl in dance once covid is under control and we can get back to normal.
Sabrina
You are amazing and I am so glad that you are sharing. I don’t have girls but I always envied moms that do. I love dance and I would have been right there with you. However, I will settle for living vicariously through your blogs. Keep up the good work!
Tricia Snow
I love that meme! I think many commitments will do this to moms who are seriously committed.
Holly
You are an amazing and inspiring mom.. thank you for sharing your journey!
Sydney Delong-Eat Simply Sweet
You are super mom! i can’t even imagine managing your lifestyle, but Im sure your kids absolutely love it, and it’s awesome that you are able to make their dance dreams happen
Whitney Woodley
You are a great mom. Your patience & persistance is never overlooked! Thanks for sharing your story!
Lisa, Casey, Barrett Dog
While we do not have any dancers in the clan, we have friends that are. These tips are precious and they love when we share them with them. Your articles are wonderful!
Maggie Jarratt
Thanks for sharing I have a feeling I will become a dance mom in the future.
Megan
You are such a devoted mom! It’s never too late to take that nap 😉
Debbie
Being a dance mom is hard work! Hope you have taken your friend’s advice and taken up napping 🙂
Barbara
You make me smile! Great meme!
MissKorang
That meme though! Says it all doesnt it. My 5 year old wants to dance, she copies all the ballet moves she sees in her cartoons and I see her two year old sister following suit! I am taking notes from your blog, believe me. Thanks for all the dance mom tips.
Kristin
Wow, it does sound exhausting! You are am amazing mama…but take that nap! 🙂
Sabrina DeWalt
I almost miss those crazy days full of my boys’ activities. The things we do for our kids.
Kendra
I can relate to this last statement so much! “I never did take that nap that day. I couldn’t… my kids had dance.” I’ll have to share this with my fellow “former” dance competition moms! We will be with you in spirit for sure!
Melissa Jones
So true! What a stressful time it is!!
Marianne
Hubby and I both do shiftwork… a lot of the time its opposite… so our kids really never had the option of getting to do organized sports. When I hear how tiring, and chaotic, some of your lives are, it really makes me appreciate my own! LOL. I’m amazed at your organization and stamina!
Cindy Moore
These experiences are so grueling! Let’s just say it teaches character…
Maya
The picture made me smile big. Hats off to you Mom for the tireless dedication & sharing your journey.