Welcome to the Circus

In the BC (Before Children) era of my life, I was a very busy dance coach and choreographer.  For over ten years, I had been on the staff of one or two youth dance teams (Pop Warner and high school) and had lots of experience under my belt.  So when my five year-old twins were invited to join their dance school’s competition team six years ago, I thought to myself, “I got this!”  Oh, what a foolish lass I was…

Learning Curve

I quickly learned that the world of competitive dance was far different than what I was used to in the youth organization circuit.  For one, there were countless “nationals” (for Pop Warner, there was exactly one national championship).  For another, my youth and high school teams only performed two numbers (TOPS) in a competition.  But during my first competition as part of the dance school’s team, I watched in astonished awe as the older dancers ran between the stage and the dressing room, tearing off costumes in a frantic frenzy as their mothers ripped out headpieces to switch out for new ones during dizzying quick changes. 

And don’t even get me started on the awards ceremonies – making heads or tails of the different levels (novice, intermediate, advanced, premier, elite, and whatever else they decide to throw in there) is bad enough, let alone trying to process the adjudication levels (Platinum Plus, Super Sapphire, 5-Star Perfection, etc. – see Diamond, Platinum, 5-Star, Oh My for more).  The learning curve was so steep, I almost fell off. 

Knowing I was completely out of my depth, I would ask questions of the more experienced dance moms.  Often, their advice was delivered with sympathetic smiles; perhaps they remembered their own time as a novice dance mom and felt pity for us newbies.  Sometimes, though, their responses came with smirks and a raised eyebrow.  When that happened, I definitely got the impression that they were sending out the “Oh, just you wait and SEE” vibe.  

Under My Belt

Now that I’m six years into this, I feel like I know the ropes.  Aside from the errant curve ball (looking at you, block scheduling), I’m pretty comfortable navigating the choppy waters of competitive dance team membership.  

Once in a while, a new dance mom will reach out to me to ask for a word of advice.  Remembering my own time as a novice, I am more than happy to help when I can.  Of course, there are areas that no one should seek my help with (for example, Dutch braids – see Hair-Do or Do Not for a confession of my complete and utter hair failure).  But I try to be useful whenever possible because I know how it feels to be the “new mom.”  

But for those of you who either know me or have read some of my other blog posts, Little Mary Sunshine I am not.  While other moms radiate positivity like the sun emits solar radiation, my perspective is colored with a bit more snark.  So when I explain things to new dance moms, the advice just MIGHT be tinged with a hint of sarcasm (I prefer to think of it as realism).  

Introducing a new dance mom into our world is like welcoming a new clown into a circus.  Explaining the highlights and low points that come with the territory is part of our responsibility as veteran dance moms, so that the new folks get a realistic sense of what they are about to face.  They need to be prepared for the joy, the mayhem, and the exhaustion that comes with being a new dance parent.

And that’s no joke.

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

For some advice for new (or new-ish) dance moms, start with First Year Dance Moms, Perspective, Part 1.