Before and After
The Memes!

Before and After

Before and After

I originally published this meme on my Facebook page on January 22, 2019.  

Newer dance moms, beware…

Back when I was a new dance mom myself, I had no idea what to expect for dance conventions and competitions.  I knew they were scheduled the entire weekend, but that was about it.  As more emails from the studio with reminders, instructions, and information about the upcoming event began to fill my inbox, my nerves started to get the best of me.  There was so much to do, so much to remember, and so little time to get ready for it all.  Plus, not knowing exactly what my role would be or what little emergencies might pop up was wearing on me (before the weekend even started).

In the Beginning…

During the first couple of years, it honestly wasn’t so bad.  The girls were in the “baby” room for conventions, where the pressure wasn’t nearly as intense as it became as they got older.  We even had time to swim in the hotel pool and go out for a real meal!  Those baby classes only last two of the three days of the event, typically, so we only needed to spend one night in a hotel.  While the older dancers and their families prepared for another long, grueling day, we were packing our bags, wishing them well, and heading home.

For competitions, they were one-and-done when they were Petites; while we generally were there for the entire duration of the weekend to support our studios’ older teams, we had no strict schedule to follow.  I didn’t have to do any fancy hairstyles, apply makeup, or execute quick changes with lightning speed.  Life was good.

Moving On Up

As expected, these convention/competition weekends became a lot more labor intensive as the girls moved up into the Mini rooms at convention, and acquired multiple dances for competitions.  Packing for longer hotel stays, making arrangements for my other child and dog while we were away, creating and obsessing over checklists to make sure no costume was left behind, physically hoofing it around unknown locations in search of lunch, running to a pharmacy when one twin fell ill, and countless other panic-inducing scenarios became the order of the day.  And boy, did it take a toll on me.  By the time the weekend was over, I looked like something the cat hocked up.  

The Aftermath

I’ll never forget an exchange I had with a beloved colleague one such Monday morning, after an NYCDA convention in Philadelphia (we arrived home at about 8:30 the night before).  She took one look at my sunken eyes and said, “God, what HAPPENED to you this weekend?!”  

I gave her a quick rundown of the past few days, which had actually gone pretty smoothly (all things considered).  When I was finished with my recap, she raised her eyebrows skeptically and remarked, “Yeah, so basically, you had no weekend – just more work.”  

I sighed, “Well, yeah…”

She chuckled, “You know I think you’re nuts, right?”  Resignedly, I nodded my head.  I knew that the chaos I signed up for would make no sense to anyone outside the competitive dance world, so I expected her reaction to be somewhere along those lines.”  She paused, looked right into my soul, and said, “You’re a good mom.  But when you get home, take a nap.”

I wanted to cry (probably because I was on the verge of a physical breakdown); my rational brain knew that I didn’t need to go to such lengths to be a “good mom.”  But I’ll do practically anything for my kids, and that’s what I hope they’ll remember when they are grown and gone.  

I never did take that nap that day.  I couldn’t; my kids had dance.

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

For an actual (not really) photo of me showing a new dance mom the ropes, click on Welcome to the Circus!

Dance-coach-turned-dance-mom to identical twin competitive dancers!

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