Wait, What Time Again?
It’s amazing how much becoming a parent changes you. For example, I used to be a fun-loving young lass, and I vaguely remember having muscles at one point. As I tell my skeptical kids, I once had varied interests and a respectable social life. Now, the most intriguing part of my day is deciding what flavor of light Greek yogurt to have for breakfast. But I digress…
In BC (Before Children) times, I was actually on top of schedules, deadlines, timetables, and everything else that had a number attached to it. When I was in school, other students would ask me, “Wait, when is that essay due?” For whatever reason, I always knew. I can’t explain it, but numbers easily stuck in my head back then (true story – I got a $500 discount on a new car because the salesman was impressed that I memorized the VIN of my trade-in, and still remember it to this day). Dates, times, and all things numerical weren’t a problem for me.
How Things Change
When I was expecting my son, I began to notice that some dates and times were starting to slip past the goalie. My pregnancy was deemed high risk, so I had attempted to get all of my ducks in a row before his arrival. One thing I’d done was to arrange interviews with prospective pediatricians, so I’d have one already picked out by the time he was born. As fate would have it, he arrived five weeks early (and he’s been making up for it since by being late to everything else). A few days after he was born, one of the pediatrician’s offices called to confirm our interview appointment.
I literally had NO recollection of making it in the first place, and was adamant that the call had been made in error. I pulled open my planner, and (lo and behold), there was the appointment. Shame washed over me; I was so confused about how I could possibly forget it entirely. Little did I know that it would be a taste of things to come (“mommy brain” is actually very real).
Flash Forward
Sixteen years, two more kids, a divorce, and countless other life events later, I’ve got a lot going on. My son has two sports and my girls have dance, so we’ve got some sort of activity virtually every day. I make lists and promptly lose them, have multiple Google calendars that aren’t synced to each other, own a planner that is collecting dust, and installed reminder apps on my phone that I never fully configured. Our fridge calendar looks like a renowned mathematician has been trying to work out a complex theorem for months (something like Divide by Pi). Multiple colors of dry erase marker detail each commitment, making the calendar look like Rainbow Brite vomited on it.
And yet, with all of these tools, I still forget some bits and pieces of our schedule. To be fair, it’s not always entirely my fault – rehearsal times change, practice locations get moved, and matches are rescheduled. Being on the go constantly leaves little time for updating my calendars, so I’ll often forget to do it later on. By that point, my calendar is practically useless.
“That Mom”
So, yes, I’m often “that mom” that sends a message to the dance mom group text with desperate questions, like, “What time are they done tonight?” In the past, I absolutely hated having to ask. But now, I’m sort of over the embarrassment. We dance moms are supposed to stick together and help each other out, right?
So if you’ve answered one of my “Why doesn’t she already know this?” questions in the past, thank you. Just know that more will be coming.
For more time-twisted confusion, take a look at Wait, What Year Is It?
Work hard, have fun! – Danielle
Dancing With Masks - 5 Tips
19 Comments
Holly B
It’s funny as we age, when people ask us questions we are aware that maybe they need some support but are to embraced to ask! This article is definitely food for thought post…
Stephanie
I think we all struggle with having it all together (at work, at home, with family). Some people just show it more than others. I have found that in giving myself grace and understanding, I am also able to give more of that to others. Sometimes, we just have to ask, send the text, etc. and not feel bad about it! Thanks for sharing.
Megan
I hear ya. I feel like I use to be so organized and never used a planner; it was all in my head! But now, if it’s not written down, I don’t show up. I’ve got random pieces of paper with things written on them all over the house. PS-I love that you had your VIN# memorized. That is too funny!
Alexis Farmer
I don’t have kids but I know they change things up! It’s awesome that you memorized your VIN
Tricia Snow
Ha! This is totally me! I don’t recall being embarrassed about it. Every parent goes through it.
Christy
I’ve never read a truer article! I don’t know where my brain went but after three kids, the scheduling, the birthdays, the work calendar…it’s so hard!
Debbie
I feel your pain! Menopause mind is next! Yikes!
Sabrina DeWalt
People used to laugh at my color-coded planner that I used in the hey day of my boys’ activities. I have to admit it looked kind of crazy with all my multi-colored post it tabs everywhere, but it kept me on track.
Lisa
Mom brain is totally real! I have to put things in the calendar with alerts!
Barbara
I have totally dropped the ball like this before! It happens to all of us! Never fear! You are human if it does!
Tiffany
We called it ‘mom’ brain at work 🤣
Allison Peteet
I don’t have kids, but you certainly are describing my mother as I grew up. We laugh about it now.
Larissa
Same here although I always was good with numbers, I never was good at dates. And now I mix up my kids birthdays although they were born on the same day just different years:))) yeah. God tried to make it easier for me but it is still hard:))
Carolyn
I live for my planner app on my phone. I check it first thing in the morning and, to be honest, a few times during the day to make sure I don’t forget to pick anyone up (because it actually happened…Mom of the Year over here). Now that we have an Alexa, I ask her to remind me, too. Mom brains are just too full of stuff to remember everything!
Chelsea
Since COVID my memory has gotten even worse! I miss stuff so much lately because I can’t remember it all and everything is different than it was before.
Suzan
Just wait for menopause. The fog just gets thicker lol!
Kristin
As my kids have started doing more activities, I feel this. Is it soccer or dance tonight?? I have a mom text thread and it’s so helpful!! We need each other!
Marianne
LOL… your comment about Rainbow Brite puking on your fridge described my MOM calendar perfectly (before COVID that is). 4 kids, full time job, side business, and now a blog, and I know EXACTLY what you are going through! Do the best you can… you’re not alone!
Cindy Moore
Mom brain IS real! And it kind of morphs into grandma brain.