It happens every year. I’m being literal here – each and every year, sometime around December 22 or 23, I swear to myself that I will do a better job of getting my holiday shopping done early (or heck, I would even take on time) the following Christmas. When I make this solemn vow to myself, I’m usually enveloped in an anxiety-inducing, panicked shopping frenzy. As I realize, with a sinking heart and soul, that most of the options I was planning to buy online are sold out or unavailable, I grip my computer mouse tighter and utter a string of curse words that would put a sailor to shame (no offense to our brave Navy folk, by the way. I have the utmost respect for them, and may have even dated a couple of them in my younger days to demonstrate my unwavering patriotism). After countless hours of fruitless searching, I find myself cycling through the five stages of grief.
First, there’s denial. This can’t be happening, right?! The gifts I’m looking for are SOMEWHERE here in Internet Land; I’m just not using the right keywords, or I’m forgetting the websites that will actually carry what I’m looking for. What, what do you mean it’s out of stock until January? That JUST CAN’T BE!! I’ll be able to get this mountain of shopping done by December 25, right?! Yeah…of course! No problem (insert maniacal laughter here).
The second stage, anger, works itself up from the tips of my toes all the way up to my eyeballs. As the words “out of stock” glare at me from each website, I feel a hot flush of rage (mixed with embarrassment and self-loathing) and am tempted to throw my keyboard through my monitor. But then I would have to buy a new keyboard and monitor, and dang it, they’re both out of stock, too. Ugh, why does this holiday have to be about actually getting stuff? But I know I need to reign that anger in, or else I will be on the receiving end of The Almighty’s wrath. Deep breaths, deep breaths…
On some level, I’m aware that I’m approaching rock bottom when I begin the third stage, bargaining. “Dear Lord, if you magically make a (insert sought-after item here) appear in my cart and help me to get all of my shopping done, I PROMISE I’ll go to church, or run errands for the ill and infirm, or read books to orphans, or something!” I swear, one time I heard God laughing. So, yeah, he knows me pretty well.
When the frantic mania wears itself out, I find myself in the throes of the fourth stage, depression. Why, oh why, did I do this to myself? How can I possibly find that elusive item, get all of the shopping done, bake Christmas cookies with the kids, take them to see the holiday lights, wrap everything, hang the stockings, and do all of that stuff a good mom is supposed to do?! Despondent and broken, it’s all I can do to pull myself together long enough to face the next stage (although I’d rather curl up on the couch with a vat of ice cream and drown in self-pity).
Acceptance is a bitter pill to swallow. Yes, I can accept that I have screwed up royally by waiting until the last minute to do my holiday shopping, yet again. Yes, I can accept that I know, deep down, that I am lying to myself each year when I vow to start shopping early. Yes, I can accept that I’ll probably feel a pang of regret when my kids ask about the item they asked for that I didn’t order in time (they’re just innocently asking, not demanding, but that doesn’t make me feel any better). But no, I don’t have to like any of it.
Next year will be different, I swear. And this time, I mean it (probably)…
Work hard, have fun! – Danielle
Oh my! lol I don’t know how you cut it so close! I can see why you have a panic attack. I try to do most of my shopping between august and November!
Lol, I’m always busy with the kids and work, so it never gets done early.
So many years I did that! Sometimes it was fun but as I have gotten older it got to stressful, so know when I’m shopping for birthdays I do Christmas at the same time.. I’m already focused on that person and of course the kids still get those last minute must-haves!
That’s a great idea (shopping for both birthday and Christmas presents at the same time)! Thanks!
This stresses me just reading it! Lol
This was a really funny and relatable read. There have been some years where I have everything for everyone except one person, and then scramble to find something for that person two days before Christmas.
Thanks so much!
I dislike shopping in general so Christmas shopping is stressful for me. I always stress out in December with the gifts I still haven’t gotten yet and this year it’s worse because there are now store line ups with Covid restrictions. Good luck getting yours finished.
I once did all my shopping on Christmas Eve and that was before internet shopping was a thing. Talk about anxiety!
This was funny to read because it’s totally me!! Every year I tell myself I will do better!
Such a great read! This has been me a time or two.
LOL, we start collecting gifts for Christmas the day after the holdiay! We also gave up on getting gifts to everyone- costs way too much money cause we live in a different state from everyone. We give the gifts whenever we see them 🙂
I feel like you’re always shopping haha! You’re a good mom. <3
Too funny…or not. Great read!
It is good to get to the acceptance phase. We just do the best we can!
YES! I know exactly what you are referring to!
Lol! Those last minute ads are terrible for me. Becasue I’ve already done my shopping but I go out and buy more! UGH! My will power is limited this time of year lol. I actually do all of my shopping on black Friday. I decide the week before what I’m getting everyone, load up my online carts to the stores I’m making purchases from, and watch them like a hawk all Thanksgiving week and Cyber Monday and as soon as the sale hits, I hit “purchase”!
Too much stress!! My goal is to never have to leave my house after Thanksgiving, and to have all of my holiday shopping done before then.
This was too funny! We made the “wait until the last minute to start Christmas shopping” mistake one year and all I can say is that we agreed that it will never happen again. Lol.
haha! This was a great reminder for me to get busy and not wait too long to shop for Christmas gifts.
Lol… great post! I usually get the shopping done… it’s the wrapping part where I procrastinate! I’ve literally wrapped gifts mere hours before they were put under the tree to be savagely torn apart again!!
I hope you found some bargains! And maybe this is just your shopping style 🙂