Worried Jay-Z meme
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Last Minute Shopping

Worried Jay-Z meme

It happens every year.  I’m being literal here – each and every year, sometime around December 22 or 23, I swear to myself that I will do a better job of getting my holiday shopping done early (or heck, I would even take on time) the following Christmas. When I make this solemn vow to myself, I’m usually enveloped in an anxiety-inducing, panicked shopping frenzy.  As I realize, with a sinking heart and soul, that most of the options I was planning to buy online are sold out or unavailable, I grip my computer mouse tighter and utter a string of curse words that would put a sailor to shame (no offense to our brave Navy folk, by the way. I have the utmost respect for them, and may have even dated a couple of them in my younger days to demonstrate my unwavering patriotism). After countless hours of fruitless searching, I find myself cycling through the five stages of grief.

First, there’s denial.  This can’t be happening, right?!  The gifts I’m looking for are SOMEWHERE here in Internet Land; I’m just not using the right keywords, or I’m forgetting the websites that will actually carry what I’m looking for.  What, what do you mean it’s out of stock until January?  That JUST CAN’T BE!!  I’ll be able to get this mountain of shopping done by December 25, right?!  Yeah…of course! No problem (insert maniacal laughter here).

The second stage, anger, works itself up from the tips of my toes all the way up to my eyeballs.  As the words “out of stock” glare at me from each website, I feel a hot flush of rage (mixed with embarrassment and self-loathing) and am tempted to throw my keyboard through my monitor.  But then I would have to buy a new keyboard and monitor, and dang it, they’re both out of stock, too.  Ugh, why does this holiday have to be about actually getting stuff?  But I know I need to reign that anger in, or else I will be on the receiving end of The Almighty’s wrath.  Deep breaths, deep breaths…

On some level, I’m aware that I’m approaching rock bottom when I begin the third stage, bargaining.  “Dear Lord, if you magically make a (insert sought-after item here) appear in my cart and help me to get all of my shopping done, I PROMISE I’ll go to church, or run errands for the ill and infirm, or read books to orphans, or something!”  I swear, one time I heard God laughing.  So, yeah, he knows me pretty well.  

When the frantic mania wears itself out, I find myself in the throes of the fourth stage, depression.  Why, oh why, did I do this to myself?  How can I possibly find that elusive item, get all of the shopping done, bake Christmas cookies with the kids, take them to see the holiday lights, wrap everything, hang the stockings, and do all of that stuff a good mom is supposed to do?!  Despondent and broken, it’s all I can do to pull myself together long enough to face the next stage (although I’d rather curl up on the couch with a vat of ice cream and drown in self-pity).

Acceptance is a bitter pill to swallow.  Yes, I can accept that I have screwed up royally by waiting until the last minute to do my holiday shopping, yet again.  Yes, I can accept that I know, deep down, that I am lying to myself each year when I vow to start shopping early.  Yes, I can accept that I’ll probably feel a pang of regret when my kids ask about the item they asked for that I didn’t order in time (they’re just innocently asking, not demanding, but that doesn’t make me feel any better).  But no, I don’t have to like any of it.  

Next year will be different, I swear.  And this time, I mean it (probably)…

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

Stuck on what to get your dancer? Look at these Holiday Gift Ideas for Dancers!

For more holiday shopping woes, head to Cyber Monday Motivation.

Dance-coach-turned-dance-mom to identical twin competitive dancers!

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