Hair-Raising Experiences

Okay, I might be exaggerating a little here. Actually, my daughters are really good when I do their hair for competition. I’ve yanked, pulled, and cursed my way through many early mornings, and they had barely say a word.

Formative Experience

It may be because once, very early on, one of them complained when I was getting them ready for a performance and their hair was being less than cooperative. She said something along the lines of, “Ow, that really hurts, Mom!” In my flustered, stressed-out state, I replied, “Okay, no problem. We’ll just leave your hair as is and you can explain to your teacher that your mom couldn’t do your hair because you had a complaint about the way it was getting done.” I felt her stiffen, and she let me proceed without further incident.

Later, I did feel regret about the incident and wound up apologizing; I let her know that I wouldn’t do that to her or the team, and she said, “I know.” I was comforted, but felt like I had adequately made my point. Since then, they’ve barely made a peep when I’m working on them (except for one unfortunate incident involving sunburn on a scalp, which I still feel positively awful about).

Cringeworthy Behavior

So obviously, my daughters did not serve as the primary inspiration for this meme. Rather, I drew on my experience of watching other moms do their daughters’ hair in the venue’s dressing room. Sometimes, it’s like a verbal wrestling match between parent and child; I often cringe at the angry, unfiltered insults that get thrown around. I feel like a kid at Thanksgiving dinner, when the adults get into a heated argument and I just want to crawl under the table (wait, that doesn’t happen in every family?!).

While I understand that sometimes our frustration gets the best of all of us, I’m often surprised at how nasty these confrontations can turn. It makes me appreciate how respectful and resilient my girls can be (especially when I’m visibly flustered because their fine, pin-straight tresses have decided to be especially difficult for me).

Oh, HECK No!

A few years back, we walked past a mom as she worked on her daughter’s hair while on our way to the team’s warm up area. The little diva in question snarled at her mother, “What is wrong with you?! You don’t need to pull my hair like that! You’re so stupid!” I felt my eyebrows hit my hairline (and if you’ve ever seen the size of my forehead, you’d understand how impressive that is). Jocelyn turned to me and whispered, “If we ever talked to you like that, you’d pack us up and take us home.” I looked down at her earnest little face and whispered back, “Yes, I would.” We both stifled giggles as we walked off.

If you’re a new dance mom reading this, my piece of advice (not that you asked for it) would be to set the tone with your daughter early. You’re doing this for her, after all, so she should get used to some discomfort during the hair styling and makeup application portion of the day. I’m not saying that she shouldn’t sound the alarm if blood is drawn, but having her screech with every little yank and pull can unsettle even the calmest of nerves. And neither of you needs that on competition day!

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

For another brawl, check out It’s Going Down!