Dressing Room Etiquette

Close quarters, quick changes, and a generally chaotic atmosphere create fertile ground for flared tempers in a dressing room on competition day. But if everyone keeps some basic guidelines in mind, we can make the experience much smoother and more tolerable!

Thanks to the many contributors that weighed in on this topic on a post on my Facebook page! They shared their advice, insights, and experiences in this post. 

Keep Your Hands Off…

When I asked experienced dance moms to add their insights to this post, one of the more shocking stories involved a very brazen mama. She walked over to the commenter’s bag, took out a bun maker, and put it in her daughter’s hair (they were NOT from the same studio)! If we unpack everything that was wrong with this move, we could create an entirely separate blog post dedicated to its audacity. 

I’m not suggesting that you don’t share supplies with others when it’s feasible. However, please do not assume that anything you see is yours for the taking. To prevent others from helping themselves, close up your belongings as best as you can when you are not nearby.

Also, avoid the temptation to move other people’s items without asking. Two weeks ago, I moved a sweatshirt that I thought belonged to another family from our studio. I felt awful when I found out that it didn’t! Encourage your dancers to follow the “if it isn’t ours, I’ll keep my hands off it” philosophy as well.

No Pictures, Please

While we all want to capture those precious moments, snapping pictures in the dressing room is generally a no-no when your dancer is not directly against a solid background. Recently, I saw a picture someone posted in a changing area, and was surprised to see a girl shrugging off a costume in the background! Thankfully, it only revealed her back (but still, I’d be upset if it was my daughter in the picture). This bit of advice also applies to TikToks, Instagram Reels, or other videos (whether or not the “shooter” intends to share it on social media or not).

If you can find a solid background (like a wall or curtain), that is a better alternative than randomly taking a picture and hoping no one is in various stages of undress. Better still, take those snapshots outside of the dressing room so that all of the dancers feel comfortable changing without having their privacy accidentally violated.

No Boys/Girls Allowed

No matter what, the dancers should feel comfortable getting changed in their respective dressing rooms. But that cannot happen if the area becomes a free-for-all. Keep brothers, uncles, and fathers out of the girls’ dressing room, and vice versa. Also, remind them that they should not linger by the entrance of the changing area either, as they might inadvertently get an eyeful when the door swings open.

While I understand it is difficult for some mamas to leave their little ones with someone else, bringing a six year-old boy into the girls’ dressing room is not acceptable. If needs be, ask another dance mom to help your daughter get ready while you wait outside with Lil’ Bro. Obviously, the same goes if it’s a little sister in a boys’ changing area.

Keep the Door Closed

Avoid the temptation to prop or hold the door open, regardless of whether the temperature becomes unbearably warm. Even if you think no one is changing, keeping the door closed helps ensure the privacy that all of our dancers need and deserve while they’re preparing themselves for the next number. If your dancer tends to become overheated, consider buying a small fan (like this one) to attach onto his/her bag to cool the area down a bit.

Pick Up After Yourself

Dance families tend to spend full days and evenings stationed primarily in one spot in a dressing room. Obviously, that can create a great deal of mess! Wrappers, crumbs, hair pins, sequins, rhinestones, empty liquid bottles, and half-eaten meals can litter the floor. Before you roll that bag out for the day, check your area and clean up after your family. Personally, I instruct my daughters to do it (because I sure as HECK did not eat those Rice Krispy treats, so those wrappers are definitely NOT mine).

Make Way for the Dancers

Whenever you see dancing kids hustling through a dressing room, give them the right of way. Most likely, they have somewhere to be soon! After all, they are the reason we’re all there in the first place.

Keep the Drama Out

We’re all under the gun at times in the dressing room, but that is no excuse for airing dirty laundry in front of the rest of the team (or worse yet, other teams). Save the blow-ups and drama for more private opportunities (hopefully, the participants will calm down in the meantime). 

Extra Considerations in Close Quarters

When space in a dressing room is limited (and you might not know what you’re working with until you get there), try your best to follow these additional rules-of-thumb:

• Keep extra bodies out of the room whenever possible. If your child’s non-dancer cousins came to see him/her, that’s great – set up the meet-and-greet in the common area instead. In these cases, it’s best to keep a 1:1 ratio (one dancer to one “helper”) or less.
• Don’t run routines, especially with loud music. The competition should have a space dedicated to warming up and running numbers outside of the dressing room, so your company director should utilize those.
• Does your dancer really need that pop-up tent in the changing area? When my daughter was five, she told a shy teammate that was reluctant to change in front of everyone, “We have to get used to it – it’s the life of a dancer!” Unless there is a unique situation, avoid bringing these into a common area like a dressing room (especially when there isn’t much space to begin with).
• Don’t reserve space your studio doesn’t need. If you can make do with two tables, sections, etc., then don’t spread your things to six. If your team is very large, ask your studio director if they can reach out to the competition organizer about the possibility of assigning spaces to avoid conflict. At one of our recent competitions, we were given a separate classroom just for our school’s use (another large school also received this accommodation). 
• Leave the large equipment at home. At a competition a few years ago, one studio took up nearly an entire room divider’s length with gymnastics mats. We already were squished in the dressing room, so 18 feet worth of mats took a serious amount of space. When we set up our bags and racks next to the mats, their teacher literally stood between our cases to shout instructions to her tumblers (she had to “straddle” our stuff to do it). 

With a little courtesy, we can lessen the stress and aggravation levels in the dressing room on competition day. Using some common sense and these guidelines, we can strive to make the experience as pain-free as possible. Merde to all the dancers!

Do you have friends and family that are coming to your child’s next performance? Do everyone a favor and share this advice about Theater Etiquette with them before your next event!