Dance Moms: Expectation vs. Reality
Confession time: I am not glamorous. Even in my younger days, I was not known for doing myself up, dressing to the nines, or even approaching what might be considered fashionable. I attempted to be more with-it at one point in my life, but time and general weariness have rendered me unwilling to care too much about my appearance now. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t consider myself a hot mess (I wear makeup every work day and attempt to do SOMETHING with my hair). But I am most comfortable in yoga pants, sweatshirts, light makeup (if I must), and with my hair pulled back.
Unknown Territory
When my girls made the company team, I was thrilled. But as the first team event approached, I found myself puzzling over what to wear and how “dressed” I needed to get myself. The only real point of reference I had was Lifetime’s show Dance Moms. My memories could only pull up images of the mothers featured on the show.
I could picture Christi Lukasiak with a bold, flowy, off-the-shoulder draped top and large hoop earrings with impressive hair and makeup. An image of Holly in a tailored dress with a dazzling smile appeared as well, as did snippets of footage of the other Dance Moms looking chic and stylish. I knew that there would be no way I could even attempt those fashionable looks, never mind nail them.
So, I followed the philosophy I use to guide me through such situations: “Do the best you can with what you have and what you know.” Unfortunately, I had and knew very little. Determined not to look homeless, I decided to put on one of my more stylish tops, well-fitting jeans, high-heeled boots, chunky accessories, and heavier-than-normal makeup. I made a real attempt with my hair (even whipped out the flat iron), and made sure my perfume game was up to par.
What Not To Wear
Our first dance event with the team was a community service performance in a nursing home. While it was a great experience (and I loved that the girls were bringing some joy to the residents), there was very little space for our large group to change costumes and store their essentials.
In a short amount of time, the temperature rose to an uncomfortable degree. With all of the running back and forth and sweaty bodies pressed together in cramped quarters, I felt my face begin to dot with perspiration.
My hair became a messy tangle of disappointment, and my feet felt like they were on fire in my narrow, high-heeled boots. The long-sleeved shirt I was wearing trapped every degree of heat in my body, and the frenetic pace of the performances was further raising my body temperature. My necklace threatened to strangle me as it twisted around my neck. I felt my makeup starting to melt right on my face, and was aghast when I looked at myself in the mirror (in the two minutes I had to myself all night).
Lesson Learned
Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson that day. Functionality beats fashion when it comes to the world of competitive dance, especially when your dancers are younger and need your help.
That is not to say that I allow myself to look like I just rolled out of bed on competition days. You never know when someone will snap a picture with you in it. Also, I have vowed to take more pictures with my girls this year (time is going by so fast, and I want more memories to look back on).
Now, I make sure to dress comfortably and as neatly as possible so that I can attend to all my dance mom duties and still look somewhat presentable. I have a few go-to pairs of jean leggings, sneakers, and some shirts from our dance school that make up my typical competition-day ensemble. I use my “work” makeup, which includes eyeshadow, eyeliner, foundation powder, mascara, and a tinted lip gloss.
Until recently, I would braid my hair or tie it back to be out of my face. Now that my girls do so much of the preparation and maintenance on their own, I style my hair if I have some time in the morning. Most times, I look somewhat-pulled-together.
No Judgment
While I have definitely felt like the woman in the picture on the right of the meme, I know that I would be unsettled if I saw myself in a picture while looking that out of it. But I definitely don’t match up with the picture on the left. And I’m totally fine with that.
No judgment to the moms that do resemble the “reality” woman on competition day, because I can totally get where they’re coming from. So if you see a dance mom looking like a disheveled mess on competition day, cut her some slack. We can’t all dress like the cast of Dance Moms, because we’re actually doing the work of real dance moms. At the end of the day, it’s about the kids, not us. So who cares what we look like?
