Theater Etiquette

Now that some parts of the world are opening back up, live performances are becoming available on a wider scale.  While spectators excitedly make plans to attend dance recitals, competitions, and other performances, keeping some basic theater etiquette guidelines in mind can help everyone have a fantastic experience!

Feel free to share this with your family members, so they can know what will be expected of them as they watch your pride and joy perform!

Have A Seat!

Wait until a routine is finished before getting up. 

This was, hands down, the most often-repeated suggestion made by the dance moms on the post.  Let me say it louder for the people in the back:  Never, EVER get up in the middle of a performance!  Plan your bathroom breaks accordingly, especially if you have a little one in tow.  The auditorium doors should only open in between numbers, so do what you must to help make that happen.

True story:  My girls were performing their recreational hip-hop routine exactly ONE TIME all year at the recital a few years back.  About 20 seconds after the dance started, a young man (probably in his 20’s) got up and started shuffling in front of me and my family.  In a hushed whisper, I asked him to sit down until the dance was over (and others around me started chastising him).  He responded with a belligerent, nasty, “Well, I gotta GO!”  Dude, you could have gone 30 seconds ago without interrupting everyone around you!  I was so upset, but didn’t want to cause a scene.

So, Dude (or any one of his family, who acted just as poorly when they loudly defended him), if you’re reading this, just know that you are lucky we were in the presence of children.  Otherwise, I would have told you what I truly thought of your boorish, disgusting behavior.

If you’ll have to leave the theater frequently, choose a seat at the end of the row.

Listen, we all either know (or are) people with legitimate medical or physiological needs.  Some days, I swear my bladder is the size of a chihuahua’s.  Plus, I have some back issues that cause me pain when I sit for lengthy stretches.  If I’m going to be sitting in one area for a long time, I try to pick a seat near the end of the aisle.  If you have a family member that needs to get up frequently, an aisle seat will disturb the fewest number of people when that person needs to exit the theater.

Remember, there are people behind you.

I am very short, so maybe this one resonates with me a bit more than most people.  At one competition some time ago, a few very tall people nabbed seats in the front row (my short little legs couldn’t get me there quickly enough).  I absolutely could not see the performance area from where I was (there was no stage; it was on the ballroom floor).  But hey, that’s life, right?  I’m vertically challenged, so I’m pretty used to it. What made it NOT okay was that some of them began holding up the program and reaching across the row to pass snacks to one another in the middle of performances! 

In another example, a large family scored a great group of about six seats in the front and center of the venue, and began passing a BABY up and down the row!  Holding the baby high up (think Rafiki and Baby Simba in The Lion King) to shuffle him/her down the row like a hot potato blocked the view of the entire stage for me. Plus, the parents had positioned the baby carriage at the end of the cluster, and stood up and down frequently to place the infant in and out the carriage.

It doesn’t take years of dance family experience to recognize how inappropriate and inconsiderate this behavior was, and I had to exert some serious self-control to keep my mouth shut.

If you must save seats, keep it to a reasonable number.

Dance moms have some very mixed opinions on saving seats in the first place, so let’s begin with the assumption that you absolutely must.  For example, if you have a set of grandparents that got lost on the way to the venue (they might still be learning to master Google Maps) or an always-late uncle who got the start time wrong, you could be justified in saving a seat or two.  However, other spectators might get bent out of shape if you claim a whole row as your territory.  Send out the details of the event to all of your relatives ahead of time so that they will arrive early (and at the right location) so you won’t need to save seats at all.

Consider leaving the “prime” seats for families with children in many routines.

In the beginning of your children’s competition dance experiences, they will probably be in just one or two routines.  However tempting it is for you to claim a front-and-center row for your entire family to see your Little’s moment on stage, remember that the older students are in many numbers (and their families are just as eager to see them perform as you are to see your angel).  After your child performs in their only dance, consider moving to a less prime location to open those seats up for other families.

Distracting the Dancers

Limit the use of electronic devices.

You may not think much of it, but when dancers catch a glimpse of a spectator’s face lit up by the glow of a cell phone, they might become distracted and discouraged.  Barring emergencies, leaving your phone tucked away in a purse or bag is the best way to go (or switch it to dark mode, if you can).  If young children in the audience have devices to keep them entertained (which is perfectly understandable), be sure to bring a headset and/or earbuds for them.  Also, try to sit far enough from the stage so that the light from the screen does not distract the performers.

Refrain from talking during a performance.

When I asked for these suggestions, the responding dance moms repeatedly mentioned how limited the chatter should be during performances.  To be fair and transparent, I’m guilty of breaking this rule; my sister and I coached dance for over a decade, and it’s sometimes difficult to take off our judging hats. When Thing 1 was losing her half-shoe in the middle of her solo recently, my sister was the first to recognize what was happening and rushed over to tell me. 

Thankfully, we were in the very back of the venue, and no one else was immediately near us (plus, it was MY kid on stage by herself).  But as a general rule, no spectators should speak while the dancers are performing.

Avoid screaming something in the middle of a performance.

This was a suggestion from an actual dance judge, and it definitely has merit.  While many teammates yell a dancer’s name during a performance with the hopes of hyping him/her up, a piercing or loud screech can do more harm than good.  This is different from general cheering (like when the performer nails a tough sequence); yelling something specific can break a dancer’s concentration, and there really is no valid reason for it.

Leave the Noisemakers Home

While it’s completely acceptable to cheer and clap, leave the whistles, pans, and cowbells at home.

Remember Your Manners

If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.

Mom’s age-old lesson still holds true today!  Since we already established that spectators should avoid talking during numbers entirely, make sure you use your filters when you’re chatting in between.  You just never know who can hear you!  The competition dance world is both huge and small, and a gaggle of nasty-girl moms can earn a negative reputation (and reflect poorly on their school).

Clap at the end of each performance.

No matter what, show your appreciation for all of the hard work and effort each dancer invested into taking that stage.  As dance moms, we know the countless hours it takes to get a routine stage-ready, so recognize the blood, sweat, and (often) tears that each child has already put in behind the scenes.  Seriously, clap for each and every one!

Do not record video or take pictures if the event forbids it. 

Dance competition companies will typically make it clear if recording and/or taking pictures is prohibited (most of them do not allow it).  Sneaking videos, while tempting, can agitate the company representatives to the point that they address it with your studio owner/director.  Tarnishing your company’s reputation should not be an objective for any member, so it is best to simply buy the video and photo package.  If you are permitted to record, use common sense (don’t hold your device up high, for example).  And NEVER record other studios’ routines (see It’s Going Down to hear my story with this).

If there is a line for the bathroom, let the performers go first.

Even before block scheduling was a thing, dancers often had to deal with just a few numbers before their next routine.  Little time was had for bathroom breaks, and you simply cannot give a performance your all if you’re worried about leaving a puddle (or worse) onstage.  For the love of everything good and holy, let the dancers in front of you in the potty line.

Clean up after yourself before exiting the theater.

Not all theaters or venues allow food and drinks to be brought into the audience.  But let’s face facts – it happens anyway.  Regardless of whether it was permitted or not, just clean up after yourself (and your Littles, if you have any). 

The Final Word

Something very important to consider is that, even if you “get away” with breaking one or more of these guidelines, it can hurt your studio in the end.  Venue and competition management may get wind of how filthy the theater was after you left, how rudely the spectators interacted with the staff, etc.  The dance school’s staff has enough to deal with on performance days; worrying about the behavior of its adults (who are, in a way, representatives of the school) should be the furthest thing from their minds.  Do yourself and your dance family proud by adhering to these general rules of theater etiquette!

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

When dancers from within the studio compete against each other, the dynamic between them can shift. For more on how your dancer can deal with it, go to Friendly Fire.

For theater etiquette rules geared for students, check out Theatre Etiquette 101.