The Walking (and Driving) Dead

This meme first appeared on my Facebook page on December 3, 2019.

Oh, how I long for the days when my girls were young’uns and their dance classes were in the early afternoon! Weekday preschool and elementary classes would generally be wrapped up by 6, and Saturday classes would be over before noon. I was actually somewhat awake and coherent when I had to drive them to and from the studio back in those days. I should have known the good times would not last. 

 As they’ve gotten older, their schedule has changed (predictably). The afternoon classes are still reserved for those little kids, so they’re a thing of the past for our family. Now that my girls have joined the ranks of the teen and senior groups, their classes don’t start until 7 p.m. on some nights. This results in ending times that hover around 9:30 or 10 p.m. While it’s great that they have plenty of time after school to get all of their homework and chores done, it does present a bit of a quandary for me.

You see, I am somewhat of an early riser (thanks in no small part to coffee, obviously). Now, I’m not at all suggesting that I am a morning person, full of bubbling effervescence and sunshine-laced rainbows. What I do prefer, though, is to get up early and get some of my work done before the kids wake up to start their day. I enjoy an hour of solitude, quietly working on my blog or day job, before I have to worry about making breakfast, prepping lunches, and being the drill sergeant to make sure my kids get out the door on time. Without having the hour or so for myself before the chaos begins, I feel off balance.

 With getting up so early, I am usually done for the day at about 8 p.m. (my mental, physical, and emotional reserves are tapped out by then). Once I drop the girls off at dance, I morph into Danielle the Hag. The bra comes off, the mascara gets removed, and all I want to do is curl up on the couch with a cozy blanket and my lazy dog. But knowing that, in just a few hours I’ll have to rouse myself to pick up Thing 1 and Thing 2, a gloom hangs over my head like a storm cloud, ready to unleash a torrential downpour at any given moment.  In other words, I just can’t relax. Even worse, I’m a total cranky-pants because I’m not allowed to go to bed yet (I want my blankie and juice box, dammit)!

So forgive me if I look like a cast member of The Walking Dead. That’s about as good as it gets at 10 p.m.: No makeup, no supportive undergarments, some ratty flip-flops and old yoga pants.  I keep my fingers crossed that I won’t actually need to interact with other humans, but those are the nights when, invariably, I wind up locked in conversation with a fellow dance mom (while she silently wonders if I’m suffering from a debilitating disease).

As class ends, my bouncing, bubbly tweenagers come bounding out of the studio with a degree of energy that could put a nuclear power plant to shame. People unfamiliar with us would never know that we are related. I look like something that rose from a grave, and they are tearing up the parking lot like Tasmanian devils. The contrast would almost be comical, if I had the energy to laugh.

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

Sometimes, the driving becomes treacherous, like here: It’s Just a Coating.