Christmas List
Every November 1, retail stores shed their Halloween decorations and clear their floors to make room for the most wallet-draining holiday known to man: Christmas. Where skeletons, witches, and ghosts once stood, we suddenly find decorated trees, festive wreaths, and oh-so-many Santa products. In your heart of hearts, you know it won’t be long until your little darlings begin composing wish lists longer than the nearest state highway. How these little parasites (uh, I mean, CHILDREN) feel that you’re somehow obligated to give them a small mountain of gifts on this day (after giving them LIFE, for the love of Pete) is beyond me. But the reality is that they do, in fact, expect to be showered with cutting edge electronics, the season’s hottest toys, and clothing so fashionable it would give a Kardashian a run for her money. While we can’t always indulge their wildest dreams, most of us do feel a responsibility to make the holiday special for our kids while they’re young (which, as we know, will be but a fleeting memory someday too soon).
For the families of competition dancers, abundant giving is the order of the day on a year-round basis. At the beginning of the dance year, there are new classes to pay for, new shoes and dancewear to buy for those new classes, and new bags to purchase (because last year’s smells so funky that we consider the cost medically necessary). During the rest of the fall, costume deposits, master class fees, competition and convention costs, and other expenses appear on the dance bill. As the season heats up, additional events need to be paid for (more competitions, recital tickets, etc.). Choreography fees, summer class tuition, and countless other charges round out the year, and the cycle starts all over again. Even if you just paid a hefty bill last month, you know another one is waiting in the wings (pun intended).
So when our wide-eyed, innocent cherubs start feverishly scribbling away at their holiday gift lists, it might be wise to remind them that dance is the gift that keeps on giving to them, while taking away from us (or, more specifically, our bank account balances). Remember that extra group dance you wanted to sign up for, my dear dancing daughter? Well, Santa said we can trim a few items off your Christmas list to compensate for that one. And my dearest boy, remember those high-end tap shoes that you just HAD to have (and then promptly grew out of by the end of the week)? Well, for that one, you have to cross off everything on your list that begins with a lowercase “i.”
If you can afford to give your children everything they want AND fund their dance activities, that’s great (and give me a call so we can hang out sometime). But if you’re not independently wealthy (like most of us poor, working stiffs), there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with explaining to your dancer that paying for their passion is a hefty undertaking, so their expectations for Christmas morning might need to be pared down a bit. Asking them to be realistic is not a parenting failure; it’s teaching them how we seldom get everything we want in life, so prioritizing their needs might mean sacrificing some of their wants.
Eventually, the bill comes due. And Santa is not the one paying it.
Still need holiday gift ideas for your dancer? Click here!
How else do we dance families part with our money? See Take My Money to find out!
Work hard, have fun! – Danielle
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23 Comments
Alyssa
This is really a perfect post for anyone who is struggling to purchase gifts this year. To be completely honest wether it’s kids, your significant other or another loving family member, Christmas is expensive! I love Christmas not for getting the gifts I do enjoy giving them but this year was tough. We all buy things throughout the year so we did secret Santa for the grownups and just bought for the kids. My husband and I are building a new house so we are only giving one another 2 gifts tops! Our biggest Christmas gift is our new home and that’s enough of an expense! Merry Christmas to you and your family!
Sabrina DeWalt
I have never been in a position to over-indulge for Christmas so my kids never expected to get everything they wanted. I remember one of our best Christmases they each had one gift, and not an extravagant one. There is nothing wrong with our children understanding the reality of life and that the intent behind the gift is more important than the actual gift.
Carrie Pankratz
Christmas is expensive. We have family send gifts to our kids since we live out of state. Because of that, we have been able to buy less for our kids because they have stuff to open from grandparents and aunts and uncles. The key was starting small so the expectation isn’t huge. I also wrap up things like favorite cereal and toothpaste. lol. I’ll literally wrap anything this time of year. I’m not a dance mom, but I can relate to this. Thanks.
Debbie
Good points! This is just real life and getting them prepared. I love how your practical posts always relate, not only to dance, but can be applied to other hobbies and situations as well.
Kristin
A dose of realism is a great thing! Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Life will not give our children everything they could ever want and better to learn that reality now. Santa does not pay the bills (unfortunately)!
Amy Irvin
Great post even for non dance moms to see. My daughter is in ballet and I’m sure my husband and I will get her into even more dance classes as the years go by. She’s just 4 now. But we, as parents give our children so much throughout the year, we shouldn’t be expected to give mountains of gifts on Christmas. Kids should learn this and my husband and I do explain it to them. I would like to give my kids a lot more amazing Christmases, but they know we ain’t got it like that. God bless ya!
Sydney Delong-Eat Simply Sweet
If only Santa paid ALL the bills! But our kids need to know why we celebrate Christmas, and it’s not about the gifts!
Keirsten
I agree completely. Children definitely should be made aware of how expensive and time consuming their extra curricular activities are. Otherwise they’d grow up expecting everything without an understanding of value. My brothers both played Triple A Hockey & one of the was a goalie. My poor single mom 😹🙏
Tricia Snow
My daughter was into horses. $175k in 3 or 4 years which did include the truck and trailer to haul them to shows. lol We made sure she knew.
Tiffany
We cut down greatly on the amount of gifts and people we gift to during the holiday season. We have agreements with most friends (and family) not to buy for each other so it lifts the financial pressure a bit.
Misskorang
I love the honesty tinged with comedy. You hit the nail right on the head. Santa really doesn’t write checks.
Alice
I love your style of writing! It’s hard to balance the year round activities costs with Christmas.
Alexis Farmer
I don’t have kids but I definitely agree with this! I know I’ve had to cut back considerably on gift buying this year.
Suz @ TravelsWithSuz.com
We never made Christmas into a materialistic time with our kids, though that’s tough in this society! For us, it was always experiences over things.
Suzan | It's My Sustainable Life
We’ve removed ourselves from the materialistic aspects of Christmas. If I cannot make it, it’s not given. Good for you for letting your dancers know just what kind of investment you are making for them!
Lisa
It’s pretty crazy how expensive Christmas can become. We try to focus on gifts that are both functional and enjoyable.
Chelsea
What a wonderful post. My husband is a minimalist, so he’s always trying to give gifts that are experiences that keep on giving, like dance would be, for example. But it’s tough for our kids to grasp that when they see all these ads and shows with kids tearing through mountains of gifts. Your post is a great reminder. <3
Lisa Manderino
You are so right! These activites do cost so much and I know those kids are grateful for the opportunities they are getting!
Barbara
Yes! I completely agree! Investments in experiences trump discarded 15 minute favorite items any day!
Marianne
My kids know the drill… if we are planning a big trip, or lots of small ones, they know that their Christmas gifts will not be over the top. The kids get a stocking, a small gift from Mom and Dad, and whatever Santa brings. I think its important for parents to remind kids that we have limits and budgets.
Denise Lenahan
Nicely put, and that’s how you deal with the “I wants” and “I gotta have” attitudes swiftly lol 😂 I pity the mom’s who don’t get a chance to read this post and see how to handle their dancing daughters with great explanations. Remember it isn’t “because I said so” it’s “here’s why” and the long explanations which will stop them from asking “why?”
Good job! 👍🏼
Cindy Moore
So important for the kids to know the true cost of their activities! My daughter owned and showed horses and it was so expensive. We made it work and she knows what an investment it was. As she got older she got a job and contributed. It was a good experience for her.
Sandi Barrett
Christmas is about giving, but that doesn’t mean it has to come in a wrapped package. Teaching our children the art of giving selflessly to others is one way to pair down the packages.