Living in Limbo
The Emotional Roller Coaster of Postponed/Canceled/Rescheduled Children’s Events
Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart, as anyone who has birthed or adopted a child can tell you. Of course, there are the expected trials and tribulations of raising a tiny being (sleepless nights, financial woes, health setbacks, etc.). Yeah, when we signed on to be moms and dads, we understood and accepted those difficulties (even if we couldn’t fully understand the scope of what we would be dealing with until we actually had to experience them firsthand).
But for families of competition dancers, this year has arguably brought forth more anxiety, frustration, disappointment, and ambivalence than any in the history of the activity. The postponements, cancellations, and rescheduled events have been thrown at us fast and furious, and it takes all the energy I have to stay on top of the day-to-day changes.
If you’ve read my other posts (Curbing Their Enthusiasm and Dropping the Bomb, in particular), you may remember that we had been planning to attend Nationals in Ocean City, Maryland, in mid-July. When the format of the event was revamped (each studio would only be performing on one day, each having been given a “block”), our studio owner rightfully made the decision to cancel; the commute to Ocean City is over three hours from where we live, and to find accommodations for a one-day competition seemed unnecessary. There would be a competition much closer to home instead, so we started gearing up for that. About a week prior, the event was moved out of state (our governor would not allow it). We parents scrambled to make new arrangements, but we needn’t have bothered; less than 24 hours later, we were informed that the competition was canceled altogether.
It was difficult, but my girls eventually accepted the inevitable conclusion that their competition season was just not to be this year. After having endured countless ups and downs, they made peace with it and started to shift their focus to next year. I was somewhat consoled by their coming to terms with it, especially after experiencing such peaks and valleys of emotion during the past five months. We were drained, both spiritually and mentally. As sad as it was to see them resign themselves to reality, I knew that the worst was over; having put a period on the end of the 2020 competition season, we could move on.
Or so I thought. Just a few days ago, we were informed that we would be taking part in an outdoor competition under a ginormous tent outside of a casino in Atlantic City. There would be extensive safety protocols in place (one studio performing at a time, masks worn when not on stage, limited audience members, restrictions on who could enter the dressing room, etc.), so it would be COVID-compliant. The event is scheduled to take place over the course of several days, and a virtual awards ceremony is to be held at its conclusion.
When I read the announcement that we were taking part in this new competition, my heart dropped and tears sprang to my eyes. This would completely obliterate the plans I had made for my kids; now that the rehearsal schedule would pick up again, downtime would be a pleasant memory. Out-of-town family members were coming to stay with us this week, and we had planned and made reservations for day trips and excursions with them. I’m absolutely heartbroken that all of our efforts to give our kids some sort of summer have been destroyed, yet again. But I figured that my girls would be thrilled at the prospect of finally competing, especially since they had worked so hard on improving and perfecting their solos. So I began to summon my inner Mary Poppins (she was WAY far down there, as I seldom use her) to tell them about the latest development.
When they came downstairs a little later, I forced a bright smile and broke the “good” news. Their response surprised me, to say the least. Thing 1 sighed and said, “Yeah, we’ll see how long until this one gets canceled.” There was no fanfare, no excitement, no high-pitched exultations – just a cynical “Sure, we’ll see” attitude (which is typically how I respond to such news). Over the next few hours, they learned of a number of teammates that would not be competing (due to illness, injury, or previously-planned vacations), and began to question why they’re even participating in this competition at all. To brighten their spirits, I pointed out that everyone else would now be able to see their solos (their division is usually early in the morning, and few teammates wind up making it) and that their loved ones (me, their aunt, their grandmother, and their cousin) would finally get to see some of the group dances. That perked them up a bit, and they’re now facing the future with a small degree of cautious optimism. But their level of enthusiasm is nowhere near what it had been earlier in the year, and it saddens me to know that they were forced into a sort of maturity that can only be born from disappointment.
Dealing with the postponements, cancellations, and rescheduling has taken a tremendous toll on me, my kids, and probably everyone else across the globe. We’re tired and emotionally wrought, and the thought of having to deliver more bad news to my girls depresses me. How many more times do I have to break their hearts?
We’ll see what news tomorrow brings. I just hope I can just find the patience to deal with whatever happens, and to be a pillar of strength for my kids as they’re riding this crazy, unpredictable roller coaster.
Want to see how we made out? Read The Greatest Show, Part 1 (the link for Part 2 is on there as well)!
To read the first two episodes in this series, go to Curbing Their Enthusiasm and Dropping the Bomb (in that order)!
Work hard, have fun! – Danielle
Emotional Roller Coaster
30 Comments
Holly
So happy to see your update! The girls look like they are having a good time and handling a “different ” dance season!
Kate
This was very well written. I enjoyed reading it!
Alice
This has been a disappointing year for all of us. Yet, it must be so much more so for these kids who are disappointed over and over again. No wonder they were not excited. Hope this gets over soon so kids can return to a normal life.
Kristin
This has been such a crazy season…we feel in limbo with our lives, too. It has truly been a roller coaster. Parenting during Covid has been a super interesting challenge to navigate.
Lisa Manderino
It has been one of those years and I hate that the all of our kids have had so many disappointments!
Megan
It’s been such a hard year. All that hard work the kids have done and then everything being canceled… We’ve definitely felt that too.
Marianne
This year just needs to go away, lol. So many disappointments… The ups and downs are especially hard on the kids who just can’t wrap their heads around the scope of a global pandemic. All they know is that their lives have been turned upside down!
Debbie
What a roller coaster you have all been on! I love the pun-title 🙂
Erica Pittenger
All the feels from this piece! My little dancer misses ballet so much, we start again in September but it will be different. She is excited but apprehensive.
Maria Gustafsson
I don’t have kids, but my niece didn’t get to graduate the way you’re supposed to this year. She missed out on the last semester of her senior year, and all the amazing things that come with grad committees, high school annuals and of course the ceremonies as we all got to experience them. So I can’t imagine how difficult this has been for people with younger children in activities/sports has been.
Sydney Delong
It is such a roller coaster, and it’s a little sad that many of our children have had to “grow up” with that maturity of cautiousness. I wish them the best with their competition, and hope they do well and have fun!
Sabrina DeWalt
Good thoughts coming your way for an amazing competition!
Maggie
Grateful for the update!
Leeandra
Awww man I’m sorry your girls have to go through this and losing some of their enthusiasm for the competitions, its definitely been an insane year. Hopefully they can do this competition.
Nissa Haight
Awe, This year has definitely been difficult for everyone with things canceling but Kids are strong and resilient! 🙂
Beth
I think this is hardest on children who really want to see their friends and their teachers in person! And participate in events that push them to a challenge. i hope it can all happen sooner than later.
Bonnie
I have mixed feelings about all of the cancellations and postponed events in our lives. On one hand I’m happy to have some free time to do nothing but now that it has dragged on for 5 months and possibly longer, I’m wishing that it will all end soon.
Ramae Hamrin
I’m so sorry. This sounds incredibly frustrating. I hold onto the hope that people, kids included, can learn so much through uncertainty and adversity. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting at the time though. My daughter was going to run her first NCAA cross country season this fall but ended up with Covid-19 within a few days of returning to college, so no matter what the other teams do, her season is most likely over. She’s alive and well though, learning to deal with a new, post-Covid body, and finding new roommates who will take social distancing seriously. It’s been such a tough time on athletes in general. I hope you and your kids enjoy the rest of their summer. Best wishes to them in the competition!
Lori
This year, I think has been a learning experience for everyone. I think we all learned that some of our most exciting plans have been put on the back burner. My kids have had a similar experience with their showing at their fair. They are resigned and accepted that this year is different and have hopes that next year will be better. Hope your kids have fun competing.
Barbara
This has been REALLY DIFFICULT for so many..from sports, to dance, etc. Anxiety and depression throughout all of the unknowns have been horrible to cope with! Super disappointed about football fall season cancellation here in MI from College to HS teams….
Chelsea
I hear ya. I hate that I keep having to say “because of Coronavirus” everything they ask why we can’t do something. I am so sad for all the things they’re missing out on right now.
Beth Shields
Must be very hard and yet, seems like you are helping your girls to cope through this. And what great life skills to have.
Kendra
If nothing else, our kids are certainly learning to become adaptable in life with all of this uncertainty. I sure do hope your girls get to have some amazing dance experiences this year.
Sara
I’ve noticed my kids reacting in similar ways. I think my kids are walking around on pins and needles waiting for us to go back into a stricter lockdown again.
Linda Egeler
It really has been a tough year, especially for our youngsters. Fingers crossed that next year will be better!
Cindy Mailhot
Kids are so resilient. I almost think I feel the disappointment for them more than they do.
Suzan | It's My Sustainable Life
What a tough year for everyone, especially for all the young ones! Hopefully things will brighten soon!
Lisa
This years been so crazy. Hope things turnaround soon for the kiddos!
Amy
Things seem to be turning around for the girls. It was a good idea for you to point out their opportunity to show off their solos. That’s definitely a bonus for them!
Cindy Moore
This year truly has been a roller coaster…and the ride isn’t over yet. Hope the girls get to experience more competitions before the end of the season.