Walk of Shame

Candles! Mums! Bath bombs!  Wrapping paper!  Pies!  With all of the fundraisers I have going on for all of my kids, I have to advertise them on social media (as do most of you, I’ll bet).  But every time I do, I feel a little bit dirty and ashamed.

Keeping our kids in extracurricular groups is not only time-consuming, but it can be very expensive.  While other sports, clubs, and activities have the potential to be pricey, competitive dance can make even the fattest wallet shrink in record time.  Not only is there the monthly tuition, but you need to budget for costumes, competition fees, top-of-the-line shoes, master classes, conventions, accessories, and coffee (that last one is a necessity for most dance moms).  All of this adds up, and rather quickly.  Many families simply cannot afford to keep their children on a competition dance team without at least some additional assistance.

Many families have a love-hate relationship with fundraising.  While we welcome the additional financial boost in our accounts, having to put yourself out there to all of your friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances can be a bit humbling.  There is at least a small degree of embarrassment involved, as if you’re asking for bail or crack money.  It’s not abnormal to groan a bit when that flyer comes home, or when you see the word “fundraiser” in the subject line of the latest email.  

It probably doesn’t help that most of us lowly “normal” people don’t have an independently wealthy benefactor that can fund our kids’ dance education, so we are fully aware that we are asking people in a similar financial circumstance to shell money out of their pockets.  Because it would be a sacrifice for us, we correctly guess that it is a sacrifice for anyone that makes a purchase.  The resulting feelings of guilt and shame put a damper on the satisfaction of adding funds to the dance account.

But for many dance families, the alternative is unthinkable.  Most parents I’ve spoken with over the years simply refuse to consider pulling their children out of dance when the kids have exhibited such a burning passion for it (myself included).  When you watch your children embrace something wholly and completely, the natural inclination is to do everything in your power to preserve it.  

So if that means opening yourself up to shame, embarrassment, and other forms of degradation, so be it.  Leave that flyer in the office common area (make sure you leave a pen and eye-catching sign near it).  Forward that email with the online order link.  Post that plea on social media, and tag all of your family members to guilt them into buying something.  When it’s for your child, it’s worth it.

In Game of Thrones, Cersei was forced to walk the streets naked to atone for her perceived misdeeds, with onlookers yelling “Shame!” as she plodded along in disgrace.  But after that dark period, she rose to grand and glorious power.  Love her or hate her, she embraced her role and owned her ruthlessness, throwing off the shackles of shame to rule King’s Landing, free of regret.  Maybe following in her footsteps isn’t such a terrible idea (just leave your brother alone).

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

Feeling desperate? Another fundraising suggestion can be found in She Works Hard for the Money 😉