She Works Hard for the Money

Years ago, when I coached a Pop Warner dance team, it cost about $100 per dancer to participate for the year. Yep, that was it. The registration fee was about $55, and you would need to buy a pair of game day sneakers for our cheer outfit. We were fortunate enough to make it to Nationals at Disney World in Orlando, Florida many years, but we did a tremendous amount of fundraising to offset the costs of the hotel, airfare, transfers, meals, and other incidentals associated with the trip. The uniforms or outfits we wore were passed down from year to year, and the organization footed the bill for those. And shockingly, there were NO FEES to enter the team into each competitive event; to be fair, they did sell tickets (around $20) for spectators to purchase, so that helped to fund it all. There were other costs that would pop up (end of year parties, t-shirts, championship jackets, etc.). But as a nonprofit organization, we kept those extras down as much as possible because many of our families could simply not afford anything too extravagant.

Sticker Shock

When we joined the competitive dance world, I figured there would be costs that I hadn’t heard of yet (or some I could at least guess at). What I didn’t realize, however, was exactly how much those costs would be. When my ex-husband and I were still married, our girls were only in one competitive number. Even then, he complained about the costs, inconsequential as they were at the time. If he had hung around (spoiler alert: he didn’t), he probably would have had a massive stroke when he would log into our account. The costume charges alone are enough to fund a small country, and never mind adding duos, solos, and extra numbers into the equation. But I’m preaching to the choir here – chances are that you’re a dance mom if you’re reading this, so you probably understand the sheer enormity of the budget necessary to keep our kids dancing. Actually, it seems like you’re in for big bucks no matter what activity your kids are engaged with (see NBC’s take on The Costs of Competitive Kids).

True story

During our divorce proceedings, my ex explicitly told the mediator that if I forced the issue of him contributing to the girls’ dance education, he would stop all negotiations and force a trial. For those who haven’t been through it, divorce can be a crap shoot; a trial can cost tens of thousands of dollars, and there’s no guarantee that you will prevail (one of the hard truths I learned is that the kids’ best interests aren’t necessarily important to the court). So for the sake of prudence, I conceded and agreed to shoulder the cost of dance myself.

So what does that mean for our family? When I was in the process of buying a new house, I had to factor in the cost of dance before determining what I could budget monthly for my mortgage. It means that every monetary gift that the girls receive goes into their “dance fund,” which on occasion brings some tears and regrets. And it means no real vacations, even pre-COVID; we make the best of what our local beach community has to offer, and take some Groupon-friendly day trips when feasible.

Making Sacrifices

Like so many families, we make a ton of sacrifices to keep dance in our lives. I take plenty of heat about it from all sides (the ex-husband, well-meaning friends and family, and even people I barely know), and it’s next to impossible to provide an explanation that adequately conveys how important it is to my daughters.

So I’m always on the lookout for opportunities to make a bit of extra income to cover the ever-increasing costs of competition dance. Prostitution isn’t legal in New Jersey, and I’m a total nerd when it comes to following rules, so having my own corner just isn’t in the cards for me (even if I was in the running to make one red cent off it, which I haven’t been for many moons).

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

Is your dancer going en pointe? Then you’ll understand Fry’s frustration in Take My Money!