It’ll Be Okay, Maybe

I have to say, I have been blessed with some useful gifts in this life (aside from my three beautiful kids, of course).  Sarcasm, writing skill, and a sense of organization are talents that I am proud to possess.  One ability that has eluded me my entire life, however, is that of doing hair.

The first two years my girls were on the company team, our hairstyle consisted of two French braids (one on either side of their heads).  This completely worked for the themes we used (The Wizard of Oz in the first year, and Little Red Riding Hood in the second).  Try as I might, I just cannot do French braids.  I literally begged other busy dance moms to do my twins’ heads for me, because even my best attempts yielded loose, falling-out messes that wouldn’t even make it through the warm-up.  When I tell you that I have shed many tears over French braids, I’m not exaggerating.

The Mohawk

During the girls’ third year, I was told that we would be required to join the rest of the company in creating our infamous, signature “mohawk.”  In fact, it is a row of three flower buns (complete with a “poof” at the top of the forehead) that garners generous praise and compliments wherever we go.  I was overcome with anxiety when I first learned that we would be doing the mohawk on our girls; my pathetic lack of hair skill meant that I would need to practice countless hours before I would be required to actually produce it on a dress rehearsal day. 

Our studio held a class on how to do it, and I remember the looks of pity shot my way when the experienced moms saw the hot mess I was creating on my daughter’s head.  Determined to eventually get it right, I bought one of those plastic styling heads to practice on.  Rather than having my seven year-olds sacrifice their time and scalps as I clumsily wove chunks of hair around my fingers, Yolanda (as she came to be known) suffered the brunt of my ineptitude.  It took me a significantly longer amount of time to do just one of my daughters than most other moms needed, so multiply that by two (and multiply the tears, both my girls’ and mine, by two as well). 

Baby Steps

Soon though, I was able to finish one girl’s head in just under an hour.  By year two, I had learned to create the necessary sections in their hair the night before (portioning the hair correctly is an art itself; if you take too little, you won’t have enough to create the rolls needed for the flower buns).  Also, I was becoming more knowledgeable about the products needed to smooth the wispy hairs to eliminate the frizzy look, and my technique had come a long way.  By the end of year three, some of the other girls on the team began to compliment my girls on how good their hair came out (even if they were out of pity, I happily took them).  By year four, each girl’s head only took about 30 minutes and most every hair was perfectly coiffed.  I felt victorious, like I had reached the end of a medieval gauntlet, a bit worse for wear but victorious nonetheless.

Curve Ball

So imagine my utter dismay when our studio director recently announced that we would be abandoning the beloved mohawk, and learning an entirely new hairstyle for competition this year.  That sadness turned to panic when she shared that the new ‘do would include a French braid of sorts.  After the virtual team meeting ended, I sat motionless for a while, staring into space as I tried to absorb the enormity of the announcement.  After a few minutes, I felt the tears start bubbling up; determined not to let this get the best of me, I bit my lip hard to bring myself back to reality and told myself to grow a spine already.  Even after I got up and got back into the swing of housework, the thought nagged at me incessantly.  It was the last thing I thought of before I fell asleep, and a fresh wave of dread washed over me as I woke up the next morning and remembered the night before.

Quite honestly, I’m trying to convince myself that it will all work out (I’m a realist by nature, though, so I can see through my own B. S. quite easily).  Until we have our hair class, I’m reminding myself not to panic.  Telling myself it’ll be okay, maybe, is the best I can do right now.  And wine really does help…

Updates

9/24/21: So far, I haven’t been able to replicate the hairstyle on my own. I am so useless at it that my sister actually traveled to Maryland with us for nationals this year to do it for me. Time to have another glass of wine to drown my feelings of inadequacy.

1/28/22: Last year’s company hairstyle, which I had unofficially labeled “King’s Landing” for the high braids, is no more. We are onto a new ‘do this year, which involves zero braiding! We learned it last night, so I’m hopeful that I’ll get it with practice.

8/5/23: For these past two seasons, we have adopted a style called an “S bun.” And guess what? I STILL can’t do it! So good ol’ Aunt Jamie (my sister) has helped me all this time.

For a fun hair meme, look at Hair-Raising Experiences!