Earth, Wind, and Fire

During my girls’ first competition season, they only had one routine they were performing all year (until the recital).  I remember lamenting, back then, about how the white of the Dorothy (Wizard of Oz) costume was getting a little dirtier and more drab after each performance.  Oh, how naive I was back then…

As expected, they added more competitive routines (and thus, more costumes) as they got older and moved up the ranks.  Sometimes, I would hear the moms of the older dancers complain that their kids’ costumes were becoming quite smelly; with my girls still being younger, that was a problem I didn’t have to deal with quite yet.  

But if there’s nothing else that I have learned after nearly two decades of teaching middle schoolers, it’s that they can emit a stink that will stop you in your tracks.

You know what I’m talking about here (and if you don’t, prepare yourself).

While our children may look like sweet, innocent, heaven-sent angels up on stage, we know better.  You see, they are capable of producing the most toe-curling, nostril-hair-burning smells that are known to humankind.  This typically happens during the wonderful stage of life known as adolescence, but dancers bring an additional element to the table.

Dancers can be….how do I tactfully say this…gross.  They’ll spend hours sweating in their dancewear, only to peel it off, ball it up, and toss it into a dance bag that could most accurately be described as a black hole of funk.  Often, they’ll forget about it until their exasperated mother demands that they clean out said dance bag (and when they unzipper it, you just know that something foul is waiting at the bottom).  To put it another way, dancers seem to have become “nose blind” to the odor that wafts out of their dance bags when they open them (or they just don’t give a darn, either one).  So add to this apathy the evolving capability of their bodies to produce a degree of funk only known to athletes, and you have a recipe for disaster.  

As much as we want to keep their costumes clean, it can be an uphill battle.  Most of these lovely pieces cannot be washed in the machine due to the rhinestones, appliques, sequins, glitter, feathers, fringe, and other fragile adornments (not to mention the delicate material some of them are created with).  That leaves us diligent mothers with few options – spot cleaning stains, hanging the garment up outside (and hoping for a crisp, brisk, windy day), hosing it down with cheap vodka (it’s okay to take a few swigs first, Mama; you’re going to need it), spraying it with Febreze, etc.  But nothing, absolutely nothing, can guarantee that the costume will wind up smelling fresh ever again (not that it ever did, but one can dream). 

Leave it to Carnac the Magnificent to come up with “Earth, Wind, and Fire” as remedies to help desperate moms to remove the foulest odors from their dancers’ costumes.  Just try to use fire as the last resort.

Work hard, have fun! – Danielle

Check out Burn Baby Burn for another costume meme 😉