Sign Your Life Away

Congratulations! Your child earned a place on the competition team! Now for the fine print…

When your dancer is offered a spot in a dance company, you will (more than likely) need to sign a contract. This document may include important dates, a fee schedule, guidelines for behavior, and more. Some studio owners will keep it short and sweet, while others will issue a comprehensive handbook that rivals an old-school telephone book in thickness. For more information on what to expect to see, check out Understanding Dance Contracts.

Each August, our dance studio distributes the contract for the upcoming season. And each time, I sit down with my twin girls to go over what it will mean for our family if they choose to participate again. They’ve been dancing at this school since they were two years old, and members of the competition team since they were five. We know full well the level of commitment we are signing on for, having done this for eight seasons.

Missing Out

But I also know my girls are growing up, and they sometimes express regret that they miss out on certain things because of dance. They were both solid soccer players at one time, but could not continue to play and participate fully in their weekly dance classes. Also, they have to turn down invitations to fun “hangouts,” parties, and more to fulfill their dance commitments. As important as extracurricular activities are to a child’s development, my girls do wish they had time to fit more social engagements into their lives.

A Conflicted Mother

For me as their mother, signing the contract is a bittersweet moment. I love to watch them dance, and look forward to seeing them do what they do best. Having coached dance myself, I know full well the discipline and dedication it takes to truly excel. I am beyond proud of all they have accomplished so far, considering the obstacles they overcome to do so. Knowing that the love for dance runs in our family brings me joy and satisfaction.

But as a single mother that finances their dancing entirely on my own, I fret a bit at the rising costs I have to meet each year. As they age, the level of commitment seems to increase; they are required to compete more and more group dances each season. Additionally, they each have a solo and they share a duo (I mean, they’re identical twins – how could they NOT?!). Paying for the costumes and entry fees for all these numbers is a herculean task, and I’m fully aware of the sacrifices we’ll have to make in order to meet all the financial obligations.

Out of Time

Not only are the funds tough to tackle, but the time commitment is huge. I couldn’t begin to count the times I’ve had to say, “Thanks for thinking of us, but the girls have a dance thing” when turning down invitation after invitation. Of course, people that aren’t involved in competitive dance think we’re crazy (and maybe we are). But when I had to rearrange my work schedule to align with the girls’ dance schedule, I didn’t even hesitate. That’s just how my thinking automatically works – dance first, everything else…second or after.

It’s a Lifestyle

So that’s why I feel conflicted when the contract comes due. I know I’m signing my life away, in a sense. And I also know that I’m not signing up for an extracurricular activity; I’m signing up for a lifestyle. When Ariel made the deal with Ursula in The Little Mermaid, she knew how much it would impact her life and the depth of the sacrifices she would need to make. When you think about it, dance is really not much different.

What keeps us committed is knowing how much growth my girls have demonstrated over the years, and how fulfilled and satisfied they are with how they’re progressing. And as a mom, I know that nothing else has ever lit them up inside nearly as much as dance has. 

So go ahead and give me the dang pen (it wouldn’t hurt to have a glass of wine ready, though).

You’ve taken the plunge; now what? Head over to our series for new dance moms, starting with 7 Practical Tips.